Sometimes I get a little playful at work. The corporate environment can sometimes beg for a break in the monotony of politeness in emails, etc. Today I invited my friend Jake to take on some silliness.
From: Me To: Jake Hey Jake. Were you able to test those scripts last week?
From: Jake To: Me I meant to tell you about my progress the other day but then the other team hasn’t yet responded. I’ll prod them a little bit and let you know how it goes.
From: Me To: Jake Aren’t there tests you can conduct from your end? Do you have a gun you can use to persuade them?
From: Jake To: Me well, I actually ran the modified versions of the scripts and it sorta worked but there were discrepancies between what the new script and the old script were pulling when it ran on schedule. I’m hoping someone from the other group can tell me why
From: Me To: Jake Would you please expand on what you mean by “sorta”? I’m also going to need an answer on the gun issue.
From: Jake To: Me I was trying to send you zip files of the new scripts and the report results of both old and new scripts so you could see for yourself but my email client keeps crashing when I try. The short version is that the new script is only pulling a very small subset of the data. And yes but that would violate my parole.
Then Jake decided to IM me.
Jake: you want me to bring over copies of the data? Me: No. Just give me the gun. I know what to do. Jake: that would also violate my parole Me: Jake, you gotta stop getting in trouble man. Me: You're killing me here. Me: FIGURATIVELY. Jake: with a gun? Me: The data can wait. Let's take a look at it tomorrow. Jake: sounds good Jake: I'll be remote tomorrow Jake: but we can figure something out Me: There's always a way. Me: Especially with a gun. Me: Unless your name is Jake.